OK. You’ve mastered maintaining a sunny disposition most of the time. But how do you deal with those around you with negative or neutral attitudes?

“It’s really a matter of determining how much it bothers you,” said Pam Wyess, outlining a five-step process for those attending Human Resource Development’s course on “The Choice Is Yours: An Introduction to Attitudes in the Workplace.”

• Determine your involvement. Is this person important to you? Has this attitude been demonstrated before? Does it bother you? Are you willing to invest time to try for a change? “If you answer ‘no’ to any of these questions, remove yourself from the situation,” Wyess said. “If you answer ‘yes,’ go on to step two.”
• Seek to understand the other person. Try to determine what caused the behavior. Seek that person’s thoughts on the matter and confirm your understanding of them by restating them. Then determine if you want a change in that person’s attitude and behavior. If ‘yes,’ go on to the next step.
• Try to influence the individual’s attitude by acknowledging the behavior that bothers you and discussing it with the person.
• Resolve the problem through mutually defined solutions. “The more the other person contributes to the solutions, the more the likelihood of success,” Wyess noted.
• Recover from the experience. Regain your positive attitude, follow through with commitments you’ve made to the other person, and then be sure to acknowledge changes in that person.